For as long as I can remember I have had a negative reaction to what I consider to be elitist attitudes and cultural snobbery. For example, people who love to snark on William Shatner, or who turn their noses up at any book or movie that reaches a mass audience. My reaction to movie reviews that start with “What did I expect from JJ Abrams other than lots of ‘splodies and people running around getting shot?” is usually “Oh, shut up with your self-important self…”
I never really gave much thought to why I had that reaction to self-styled “intellectuals” who found places like Walmart to be the very antithesis of all that is good and holy about life. I just knew that I wasn’t one of them, and didn’t much care to hear them lecture other people about how superior they were.
I mean, I read all the same books they did, and enjoyed them. J.D. Salinger is one of my all-time favorite authors. I “get” Citizen Kane. I understand the depth of metaphor found in Moby Dick. I enjoy the subtle sophistication of Beethoven, and the brilliant innovations of Mozart. I even like Shakespeare.
But in the last few weeks, as I’ve seen more and more reaction from those intellectual elites to movies and books that have become popular, I think I’m going to be forced to admit something shocking when it comes to crass, low-brow, unsophisticated modern entertainment marketing.
I AM the rube they are looking for.
I love movies with lots of ‘splodies. I shop at Walmart in broad daylight, and I don’t even wear shades. I remember my first reaction to Star Wars, when that first scene with the giant Imperial starcruiser just. keeps. on. coming! OMG! I loved that! And lightsabers? What could be more cool than lightsabers? Silly tropes? Rogueish devil-may-care morally ambiguous bad boy anti-heroes with a buried heart of gold? LOVE THEM! Simple and clear plots where good guys are good guys, and bad guys reek of evil? Bring ’em on!
I know this may shock some people. But it is what it is. Rich billionaires in silly costumes using weapons that cost as much as the average house to stop a convenience store robbery make perfect sense to me.
So bring ’em on Hollywood! I want MOAR silly adventures with predictable plots and black-and-white moral lessons. Give me a young person on a mythic quest who needs a wise father figure to put them on the right path. I’ll stuff popcorn in my mouth while soaking it all in.
In 3D. On an Imax screen. I’ll even pay more for it.